Jens Funeral Arrangements
She was so very brave when she knew there was to be no treatment available and she was going to die within 'weeks' [it turned out to be just 14 days from diagnosis to death]
She planned every detail of every aspect of her funeral with me, she chose the order of service, the music, the songs, who should speak, who should go to the internment - every single part was her choice. and she also asked me to wear a certain suit, shirt and tie [the tie was one she bought me, I did not like it much and had never worn it! she wanted me to wear it just once - that made me cry again] also to make promises for her which I agreed to concerning more than 50 other things which were important to her [when I complete all these promises I will put them on the web site ]
For her funeral, the key word she used thoughout our planning process was 'dignified', she wanted it to be a good and dignified experience for all who came. We planned for about 50 [its very had to know who might find the time to come] more than 80 arrived.
I wish so much we had a guest list, to this day I am unclear who many of these people were.
I bought her 4 dresses for part of her Christmas presents, she never wore them, and she said that she should be buried in one of my choosing [ I chose the one I thought she liked most when she saw them], with black tights, her favourite shoes, her favorite pearls and her wedding ring left on.
Candice was also very brave and dressed her, did her hair and make up. So that when I came back into the room and looked at her in her coffin, she looked so wonderful, calm and at peace. Just as I knew her and will always remember her.
I had planned, with Jen, that the probability was that I would die first so I had made sure all our assets, cash etc were all in her name. She brought this up before we knew of that dreadful diagnosis and she asked that I put them all back into my name as soon as possible, and in her last days she asked many time have you done it yet. I told her it was all done, but it took some days after telling her it was all done before I completed the task.
In her last two days she dictated a letter to her darling Brooke - she never finished it - is a beautiful letter and has it's own page on this site.
She thought about everything to do with our well being after she wes gone - I keep saying it, but what a brave, loving, caring and thoughtful girl she was.