Christmas with Jen

Christmas for my darling was by far the most important event of the year. On Decenber 10th every year she would start. Decorations, the tree, the lights were always put up in two of three days from the 10th, and always with the help of Brooke

When ever we went anywhere in the world, no matter what time of year she would always buy a decoration for the tree.

These are some of her most favourite ones. Each one was purchased by her on our various trips. They were all wrapped individualy and with care ready for Christmas 2012. Little did she know that she would never see them again and that it would be me alone that would unwrap them to show you.

- USA - Russia - France - Italy - St Lucia - Hawai - UK and can't remember

She would plan her menus way in advance and would talk to me about Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and the next day, We always had the full Turkey dinner on Christmas day with her beloved smoked salmon to start and her home made very special Christmas Pudding to follow [I always put £1 coins in which she always made me sterilise in boiling water] [last years {1 of 3} remaining pudding is still in the fridge] Christmas Eve we had our favourite Lobster salad, and Boxing day was Beef Wellington [which I always made] Important fact here - Jennifer did not eat meat!? But always cooked it for the family, on christmas day she just had everything she made except the meat, Christmas eve was fine, and Boxing day she had a Salmon Wellington [which I also cooked]

She had a stocking for everyone, 12 in total which were filled by her with little things she had bought throughout the year. They were pined up by us and Brooke ready for Christmas Day.  She also filled a bran tub which all of us would search through in turn on Christmas Eve. Finaly I would light up the nativity scene in the lounge especially for Brooke.

Some years ago we agreed not to keep buying Christams cards for each other but she saved her most favorite one from me and I chose my most favourite from her, and we used them every year. She had also saved Cards from Cassie and Bob from when they were children and these always took pride of place together with our two on the mantlpiece.

This is the email I sent to everyone I know, it sums up how I feel

Because Christmas/New Year was so very special to Jen [and me] the thought of this coming festive season without her leaves me feeling so very sad and despairing.

I have decided not to recognise Christmas and New Year and I will treat them as just normal days [without her] with no acknowledgement of anything to do with the festive season


Because Jennifer treated this holiday in such a special way [see:] I cannot now celebrate without her.


I will be grateful if you please do NOT send any cards or Christmas greetings to me, there can be no Happy Christmas for me. Nor will I be sending out cards etc., but I will be making a donation in her memory to St Catherine’s Hospice, who helped me care for her in her last weeks.


Best wishes to you and yours

These are the cards I have found. The one I really wanted was not there, that is the one from Jen to me. I searched and searched but could not find her card, Where did she put it, why is it not there - I will never find it now, just like her it is gone forever, but will always be in my mind and in my heart.

I chose it, and she liked it, because of the words
Cassies Card she was aged 12 it was in French - that is why she loved this one
Bobs card - he was 10 - he did the stitching himself, thats why she loved this one

As I continue to unpack I found a book about Dover [my parents home] and on the first blank page I fornd this.     More tears and more sadness. In 2002 we were living in 'Hightrees' in Oxted and I had not remembered this particular present. Inagine the shock when I found it - I really do love and miss that girl so much.

Our dining room - set for Christmas Dinner for 8. My darling sat to the left at the head of the table to the left and I sat at the far end.- this was for 2010 - This, alas, can never ever happen again....